Merida and Our B and B

Today we are catching another Aviacsa flight - this time to Merida.
The EuroStars Zona Rosa Suites Hotel calls a taxi for us, and a young man in a white Nissan draws up at the Hotel entrance. We get in the car and tell the driver where we want to go. The driver sits for a moment, without doing anything, composing himself for the journey ahead. And then he crosses himself before starting the car and pulling away. There is something truly disconcerting about your driver crossing himself before your journey. However as a safety precaution it seems to work, as we get to the airport without incident
We have pre booked a bed and breakfast in Merida that is rated highly in Trip Advisor. Most of the comments mention the comfortable beds, great breakfasts and a very friendly owner. Somehow that phrase “very friendly owner” just passed us by without setting off alarm bells. Joany, yes that’s Joany with a “y”, greets us several minutes before we can see her. We ring the front door bell which is next to an iron gate.
Immediately we hear her calling to us, saying hello, asking how our journey was, telling us how glad she is that we chose to stay with her. This rambling introduction is spoken at a very high decibel rate, in a Brooklyn accent that could shatter glass, and delivered from somewhere upstairs, towards the back of the house, leaving us to believe that Joany is apparently in the middle of doing something that prevents her from coming to the door. This disembodied voice continues for seemingly several minutes, before Joany herself breathlessly descends the stairs and opens the door for us.
We might have supposed that the delay in getting to the door was caused by her desire to put on some fetching outfit and a little makeup in which to greet us. Neither was the case. Her hair, dyed black several weeks ago but now showing grey roots, is pulled back behind her head and tied with a scrunchy that cost 3 pesos from the local market. Her face, betraying her Brooklyn background, is devoid of makeup. She has a huge bottom that is perfectly round and squeezed into a pair of blue jeans. Her legs taper down to a pair of tiny feet. Above the waist is large but shapely and seemingly bears no resemblance to the rest of her body. She is carrying, for some unknown reason, a huge blue and yellow Ikea shopping bag. And she never, ever stops talking. She goes from one subject to another without taking breath, or giving much thought to what she is saying.
She is indeed “very friendly”. She also has a very nice Bed and Breakfast, which she proudly tells us her husband built. She talks about her husband a lot. But we never see him. He is apparently at their farm, which is, she says, his latest enthusiasm. “But” says Joany “if he prefers to have a cow rather than a girlfriend, that is fine by me. I will always be thinner than the cow”. As I haven’t seen the cow in question, I cannot comment